things could get ugly...

I finished reading this book last night...

It's probably fair to say that I have a sugar addiction. My waistline certainly thinks so. And it's probably also fair to say that if you're a sane person, one major self imposed challenge at a time is more than enough...

Ha! How long have you known me? As if I'd stop at one! So quitting sugar starts today, and like I said it could get ugly. So enjoy the pretty $8 tulips from Woollies while I'm still in a good mood. 

And for those of you who've been asking for the vampire slayer, here she is...always alert, never alarmed :)

soul food friday ~ what labels do you give yourself?

Are you new to soul food fridays? It's where I get all philosophical on you. Buckle up and come along for the ride. And welcome.

here

Ever since I came back from Bali I've been writing. Short stories, random thoughts in pretty notebooks, ideas that inconveniently float into my mind while I'm in the shower, the first sentence of something or other that's yet to fully reveal itself. 

I said in this post that I'd found what I wanted to do. And what I want, more than I think I've wanted many things in my life, is to write. And yet, even though I'm writing, even though I'm more determined about this than a lifetime of other things I've tried, I still can't offer myself the label 'writer'. Not even after having coffee with a friend the other day who told me that at least 90% of my job is writing. Which is true. But it's not the right sort of writing if you know what I mean.

here

So I did the only sensible thing. I started to write about my reluctance to tattoo writer on my forehead. Here's a snippet from a piece I'm working on...

     I paint. But this doesn’t make me an artist. I garden. I plant and I prune and I dig but I’m hardly a gardener. I cook but I don't call myself a cook, much less a chef.  I take photos and some of them turn out quite well. I’ve managed to capture some lovely things through my camera but do I call myself a photographer? Do you call me that? Do you call me any of these things? No. And neither do I. Because I'm not paid to cook, garden or take photos. 

     This is why, although I write, I can’t name myself writer. I can't meet someone new, shake their hand and in response to the inevitable 'what do you do?' can't bring myself to say 'I write'. It’s a label that won’t stick. It slides easily off and away like the sticker on a jam jar that's been soaking in the sink for just the right amount of time.

It's fear isn't it? And now I think about it, most of the labels I've given myself don't earn me a living, apart from my business of course. I don't get paid to be a mum, partner, reader, rambler, friend. Of course I don't. In fact I'm usually the one doling out the dollars! But I do all these things, happily and willingly. I am all of these things. We do stuff we aren't paid for, lots of it, all the time. We do it because it's worthwhile, because we have to, because these things give us pleasure and hope and add meaning to our lives. Why should 'writer' be any different? 

... I've tried so many things. Tried, failed or just got bored. My failures laugh quietly at me from the corners of my home, stashed in cupboards, shoved under beds. Half done paintings, incomplete quilts, balls of yarn artfully resting in a wicker basket under an antique desk, with its barley twist legs and beautiful brass handles. Unfinished tapestries on wooden frames are shoved away at the end of this long brown desk I’m writing at now. Flung one day between it and the window they wag their bright woolly fingers at me. Psych degrees started and abandoned. Not just once, not even twice, but three times and that's it, you're out. And I wonder whether this thing called writing will end up stashed in a cupboard or somewhere on a forgotten thumb drive.

So, dear bloggy people, as my first step, over there in the about me section, I've snuck in 'writer' along with those other things I know I am. I can say it to you here in the safety of this blogging community. I know you'll get it. And even if you don't it doesn't matter, it still feels good. I'm keeping it.
Are you a bit like me? 
What are the labels that you'd love to shout out loud to the world but can't bring yourself to do just yet? 

top ten pictures from the week ~ 10 Aug 11

Hello there. Wednesday again!

by jane brocket

I have no idea how that happens.

seen on 16 house

You know how it goes: you're counting down the thursday and friday minutes

seen on i suwanee

the ones that never seem to go quickly enough

seen on from the right bank

and before you know it, bam, Wednesday has come around again

by old brand new: this picture just cracks me up

And don't talk to me about weekends.

seen on wicker and stitch

so much promise and so little achieved

by pia jane bijkerk how magnificent is that picture

although that's probably a good thing

seen on desire to inspire

down time

seen on the nesting place

quiet time

seen on this pretty space

me time

seen on with two cats

I will complain no more. Not till Monday anyway :)
Did you get your census form done ok last night? I did mine online. You?

what I've been reading...

Yes, well...the best laid plans and all that. I was meant to give you a list of what I'd read each month but it appears I haven't done that since the March list I published in early April. Oops.
So, this is a biggie...all the books that I've read since then in one fell swoop. The ones I can remember that is...perhaps there have been a few others :)

In order:

The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison - fiction

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua - non fiction

Shiver by Nikki Gemmel - Australian fiction

Season of Second Chances by Diane Meier - fiction

Stealing Picasso by Anson Cameron - Australian fiction

Odd Socks by Ilsa Evans - fluff

The Other Half Lives by Sophie Hannan - psychological thriller

Affection by Ian Townsend - fictionalised account of real people set in Townsville during an outbreak of the bubonic plague in 1900

Lessons in Letting Go by Corinne Grant - Australian memoir

Caleb's Crossing by Geraldine Brooks (my favourite author) - historical fiction

The Children's Book by A.S. Byatt - historical fiction

The Last Magician by Janette Turner Hospital - Australian fiction

The Memoir Book by Patti Miller - Australian non fiction

Writing your Life by Patti Miller - Australian non fiction

(Patti was the brilliant teacher and wonderful writer who nurtured our writing experiences in Bali)

Good Harbor by Anita Diamant - fiction

Last Chance Cafe by Liz Bryzki - Australian fiction

The Slap by Christos Tsiolkas - Australian fiction and winner of many prizes

As I work on trying to establish my own writing life I am more and more grateful for all the authors who've been in my life and thrilled me with their words for decades. I had no idea how hard it was! Or how rewarding. Reading and writing. Don't hang out for the 'rithmetic though...that's not about to happen :)

do yourself a favour...

My latest favourite song...trust me on this one :)

Have the happiest of weekends.

top ten pictures from the week ~ 3 August 11

I've come to love the top ten

seen on belle maison

not just because it's a repository of pictures that take my fancy

seen on decorology

filed away where I can find them...a bit like my very own pinterest

seen on tiny white daisies tumblr

but I also get to tell you

seen on the design files; photographer paul barbera

in just a few lines

seen on pretty space tumblr

about some of the important things in my life

seen on design sponge

tucked in here among the pretty images of gorgeous homes and gardens.

seen on decorology

Like how this week I entered my very first short story writing competition

seen on bazaar of serendipity

I don't mind telling you...

seen on a perfect gray
I'm a little bit pleased with myself 

seen on greige

and I don't give a toss if it wins or not 

seen on dustjacket attic; photography by stefano corso

because my very clever and extremely well read children both love it. 

 And that's prize enough for me :)

the 100 day challenge: half way point...

Just over half way actually...53 days to be exact. So what's it all about? You can read the original post here but essentially I challenged myself to go 100 days without buying anything I didn't really need, in order to think a bit more deeply about what I needed as opposed to what I just wanted.
I had a long list...here's how I'm travelling.

• Magazines: Remember that I am a self confessed magazine tragic. I have bought one magazine. One. This month's Country Style at the airport  last week.

• Appliances: the kettle gave up the ghost about two days after I started the challenge (of course!) and it was dangerous to continue using it, so I had to buy a new one. I suppose I could have boiled water on the stove, but nah, that wasn't going to happen.
• Clothing, shoes and accessories: Clothes ~ nil. Shoes ~ one pair of beaded thongs when I was in Bali for the princely sum of $8.33. Accessories ~ two beaded rings in Bali at about $2.50 each. I didn't buy a beautiful necklace there that cost $300. It was a close call!
• Craft materials: some fabric to finish Ruby's quilt and some wool for the first born's crochet blanket. Alas neither of them are quite finished yet!
• Anything decorative for my house: nope, not even a Buddha in Bali!
• Linen and towels: that's another no. But I did buy a new ironing board cover the other day. Does that count?
• Cosmetics: a bottle of duty free perfume on the way to Bali. Femme by Boss - 'tis very nice and one of my perfumes had run out so it was a replacement, sort of. Don't you think?

• iPad applications: Blogpress. Well that's an essential for a blogging girl on the go isn't it??
• Op shop purchases: haven't set foot in one for 53 days!

Pretty impressive don't you think?

What's that you say? What about books Kerry? Weren't they on your list too?

Ah, yes, well...I may have bought a few of those.

But I'm certainly not going to beat myself up about that. They are, and of course I knew this already, my one necessity. I have always answered "a book of course" whenever asked the question "what would you buy with your last $20?" 

Not that anyone's ever actually asked me that question, but that's hardly the point :) And I have been doing an awful lot of reading lately.

I feel really good about this challenge. I am most surprised by the fact that I'm not missing the magazines very much at all. I still have a subscription to Real Living and that's doing me nicely, and I'm not all that interested in going shopping. It's a bit of a revelation actually.

So I will continue until September 18th when my hundred days are up and then I'll see how I feel. I'm not even all that inclined to reward myself at this point, but I probably shouldn't speak too soon!

Has anyone else been on this challenge with me? How are you going with it?