Friday, May 11, 2012

soul food friday | universal truths

I've been a bit of a sad sack these last few weeks. I've done a lot of crying, been tangled up in thoughts and indulged in much soul searching.  In fact, it's all been a bit...
[yesterday's fat mum slim photoaday pic - a favourite word]
And while I said that I wouldn’t make the blog a diary of my personal trials and tribulations, it occurred to me that there have been a few light bulb moments lately that may be worth sharing. Some universal truths if you like. Things that have hit me over the head and not, I dare say, for the first time in my life either! In no particular order:
  • Uncertainty is anxiety inducing, so make sure you get the answers,  even if you don’t like them.
  • Not knowing is much, much worse than knowing.         
  • You can’t look forward while you’re constantly looking back.
  • Everyone owns a piece of the truth about a situation – you should find out what those truths are.
  • Exercise really does help, much as I hate to admit it :)
  • Find something to immerse yourself in. Develop a new interest or rekindle an old. For me it’s been a digital photography course (I've got a long way to go but here are some early attempts...and remember possums, Rome wasn't built in a day!)
...this was a serendipitous (hi Felicity) event, having booked the course a while ago, but it’s been a life saver...
  • When you're very sad you should be kind to yourself, kinder than you've ever been. 
  • You always need something to look forward to...for me it's travel. Morocco in December, and a work trip to Shanghai in September.
  • Let yourself feel all the emotions you need to feel, whether they're 'worthy' or not, but probably think for a bit before acting on them.  Not one of my strengths I'm afraid :)
  • There will always be a reason for what’s happening, even if it’s not clear and even if you don’t like it, or even if it’s just to confirm that sometimes there really is no good reason! 
  • Remind yourself of timeless wisdom - I'm re-reading The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran, especially the part describing how we feel sorrow because we've previously experienced joy, and vice versa - it's comforting. It's ageless. This too shall pass right?
  • Take any help that’s offered, but only if you’re ready to receive it – sometimes it’s not quite the right time.     
  • There’s no such thing as perfect. No, really, there isn’t, but imperfection can be ok too. We just need to see beyond the imperfections.
I read somewhere a long time ago that the universe keeps on giving you the same old lesson until you get it through your thick skull (I’m paraphrasing of course). This seems to be very true for me, and to be honest I'm a bit tired of it. I get it. Enough already! 
And if all else fails, take the day off work and go on a road trip with some buddies to that place that sells the Swedish meatballs (yeah, that one)…that’s what I’m doing today. Have a fab weekend. I've got a photography course field trip to Captain's Flat tomorrow. Fun. Yes, it surely will be...if only I can find my memory card. Sigh.
all images: kerry martin / a tranquil townhouse


  1. Very wise lessons indeed. Nice to have you back.

    Love that photo of the lace in the window...gorgeous lighting and perfect in black and white.

  2. Hi Kerry, a whole bunch of wise words! I especially believe in the last point about perfection. I truly believe that there's perfection in imperfection. I'm so thrilled you have a holiday to look forward to. Imagine the amazing pics you will take! Big hug x

  3. keep going Kerry .. it will all get better soon-ish. of course some expedit and klapan might help too (and the meatballs!!!). take care (-:

  4. My personal cure for sorrow is the gravad lax rather than the meatballs, because I find expensive treats have a dual twinge of daring and justification when I need consolation. 'Stay me with flagons, and comfort me with apples, for I am sick of love."

  5. Getting through a tough patch needs attacks from many angles. Not knowing is often excruciating, but the truth can sometimes be difficult to uncover. True friends are a godsend and I have found blogging, photography and some pampering a great distraction, allowing time to heal, which it has.
    And there is definitely beauty in imperfection xx

    1. You have shared such good points Kerry. I struggle a lot with perfection and as you say, it's unobtainable. I need to learn to be kinder on myself and not expect so much. Sorry I haven't visited your blog lately, I'm a bit behind on my reading. I'm sorry to hear you're going through a tough time. I hope you find yourself feeling better soon xx

  6. :-( Sorry to hear you're having a rough time, glad you have good things to focus on and look forward to though, hope everything brightens up for you soon, I know where you're coming from xxx

  7. I once read that when the pupa turns into a butterfly inside its chrysalis, it's dna changes and apparently it really flipping hurts.
    I think times of internal shifts and torrents of emotions are just like that ... but what a beautiful outcome x

    PS Character building events are tiresome, I agree - if my character gets any bigger, I'll be asked to buy 2 seats on the plane.
    PPS I wonder if any emotion is unworthy - perhaps just ill-timed or ill-expressed.
    PPPS The only value of perfection is to experience it in a moment in time. To reach for its attainment or regret its absence is to invite disappointment.
    PPPPS I'll shut up now! Be kind to you xxx

  8. Hi Kerry,
    This post sees you so positive and a sign that you are feeling a little better. It's so good to see you back in Blogland.
    .....also, your words will help others too, I'm sure.
    Love your photographs, my favourite is the window with the lace curtain too. It sounds as if you are really enjoying the course.
    Keep smiling Kerry and how wonderful to have Morocco and Shanghai to look forward to. Lots of love and thinking of you. XXXX

  9. Whenever I feel down, or confused, I head to Ikea! I do! It works.

    You're okay. I should do a post on the handful of blogs which I find are really honest. You're one of the few genuine ones which are heartfelt and truthful.

    One day you'll realise that you've used all your tears, even for if for the short-term, and you'll really begin to feel better.xo

  10. Hi !
    A very important post. I wish you the best of weekends and I hope you will enjoy the Swedish meatballs :)

    Also hoping that you're feeling better and better.


  11. Well I am impressed!!!!!! To see you back sounding imperfectly perfect and as for the photography!!!! Oh my goodness they are all beautiful! Will you come back and teach me?!!! xxx

  12. Oh wise one, she of the brilliant way with words, and now pictures too! I should be very proud of myself if I'd taken that stunning lacy curtain with the old scales image. It's really beautiful.
    Keep being kind to yourself Kerry. xx

  13. Oh Kerry, you gorgeous soul. It's wonderful to hear from you. Hang in there, my friend. We're all here, cheering you on. And I'm loving your new photography skills - keep it going, Lovely! J x

  14. Keep being kind to yourself, you obviously deserve it. I'm reading blogs because I've lost my full memory card...just when I was ready to try and start seeing the beauty again (more than sigh being said here). Then I'm popping off on a holiday 'cause sometimes you just need to be kind to yourself! Take care, Alison

  15. i've always loved that saying - be kind to yourself. and i usually tell friends that, but it is important to tell yourself too. so glad that the course has been a good direction, and by the looks of things, you're a natural! such gorgeous images.

    glad to see that you're taking some on your own advice and taking care of yourself darl. xxxx

  16. One step at a time lovely, just one xx

  17. HI Kerry, nice to read your words again. I have lost my mojo, today is the first time in a month I have looked at any blogs. I am glad I landed on yours. A big mwwah and hug from Deb.

  18. Wabi sabi..... the beauty to be found in imperfection.
    Finished is better then perfect.

    Two little things i TRY to remember.

    I enjoyed reading your blog. ty

  19. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. haha deleted this one because i spelt amazing wrong: talking about imperfections...

  20. Hi Kerry, hope you are doing ok. I have been off sick with a chest infection but it has been good atleast to spend time updating my instagram (so addicted) and catching up on your blog. I just wanted to say I hope you know what an amazing woman I think you are, imperfections and all. Sending hugs your way xx

  21. This is a wonderful read, thank you so much for sharing. Your thoughts and insights are powerful!

  22. Oh, Kerry, thank you. I'm in the same space and apparently my skull is titanium because I cannot seem to find the lesson in my situation. Your words helped. Thank you, I'm so glad I stopped by.

  23. keep going Kerry .. it will all get better soon-ish. of course some expedit and klapan might help too (and the meatballs!!!). take care (-:
    nice blog and think .

    escorts in kanpur

  24. found your words via instagram. sounds like you are seeing clearly, even if the road is dark. blessings.


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