Friday, July 23, 2010

soul food friday ~ from a daughter to her mum

It was my birthday a few weeks ago. I'm big on birthdays. Much more so than other celebrations. The first born posted these to me...
does anyone else have trouble making the bed since they started blogging?
Gifts from Jess have a special meaning for me for a number of reasons. They signify how well she knows me. How much she 'gets' me. How generous and thoughtful she is in the gift giving stakes. I like to think she gets that from me! 
I bet Sibella knits dishcloths!
But it's much more than's about a relationship between a mother and a daughter that is everything I had hoped it would be. It hasn't been all smooth sailing...what relationship is? But it's wonderful now. Close. 
A very different relationship to the one I have with my own mother I'm sad to say, even though I know the love is there.
There has been a lot written about mothers and daughters and I have heard it described as life's most profound bond. I am inclined to agree. If not that, then I think it is certainly the most complex of relationships. Because what daughter (and I of course speak as one) doesn't want her mother's love, support, admiration and respect? In a way that is different from wanting that from others.
Which is not to belittle or relegate the mother-son relationship...because I have one of those as's just a different one, but that's for another post.
I read somewhere the other day a description of the mother-daughter relationship that likens it to being on a rollercoaster - the big, scary kind that you're able to see from the next town over and whose passengers can be heard shrieking from miles away! 
I kind of like that: a little bit scary, exciting, fun, exhilarating...and the screaming comes from joy not anger...
I came across the speech I gave at the first born's 21st the other day, in which I offer sage advice...of course! And where I state publicly how beautiful, brave, smart and funny she is...because I never said that enough when she was growing up. The fact that I didn't have that said to me was no excuse. But the reality is, the most precious gifts that Jess has given me are these: she's taught me a great deal about being a mother, a woman, a parent, and a daughter. I think it's meant to be the other way around, but she is one wise young woman and I pay attention. Beautiful inside and out.
So thank you for these wonderful 'totally me'...and yes, extremely blogworthy gifts my darling girl! 
now that Jeeves is in the house I hope he irons the teatowels and makes the bed!
And thank you especially for the gift of your love, and your friendship. And for sending me texts that say you miss me! I'm very lucky to have you (and your brother of course...but this is about daughters!)
all images from we heart it; except pictures of the gifts which I took, and the last which I nicked from Jess's facebook profile (see, she even lets me be a FB friend...I must have done something right!)


  1. Awww, what a lovely post! I am lucky to have a 'no dramas' relationship with my mum, and my only sister for that matter. Life's too short, isn't it? I'd be Mum's FB friend too if she was into that sort of thing :)
    Have a lovely weekend Kerry. Hope you had a nice visit with Kerri yesterday :)

  2. What a sweet post. I so much agree with what you've said (written, posted, whatever). I have two daughters and being their mom is also wonderful, quite different from the relationship I've had with my mother. Happy belated birthday. Enjoy your gifts and your weekend.

  3. That's wonderful Kerry, you write so well about such a special relationship. I too received no love from my own mother and it makes me very conscientious with my own far, so good - I find giving them love very easy. It is certainly something to be treasured when you have a close relationship with your children..Have a lovely weekend..Rachaelxx

  4. Sounds like your daughter is just as lucky to have you as a Mum after reading your post. I hope you had a nice birthday. And yes, your daughter did get you blog worthy gifts!!

  5. Beautifully put Kerry. I consider myself really lucky to have a great relationship with my own mum, but with a son and two daughters of my own, I completely agree that it's a different kind of relationship entirely. It's so nice to hear what a lovely bond you have, and you know that old saying 'the apple doesn't fall far from the tree'? - says it all my friend. Have a great day, and I had a ball meeting you. Hope Canberra isn't too cold after yesterday's sensational display of winter in Brissie? K xx

  6. oh, mummy poo, how lovely, thank you.
    now stop blogging and hurry up and finsih my blanket, it's freeeeeezing.

  7. How lovely Kerry, makes me think of my lovely mum - we have a pretty nice relationship too but I think I drove her MAD in my teens... glad you liked the knitting patterns! Ann x

  8. Gorgeous!!! Jess's comment sounds just like my daughter. The mother daughter relationship is like no other, and I am fortunate to have a very similar one with my daughter. She is always thanking me for all that I do for her - no, not lending her money!! She thinks about her mum seriously when gift giving, and loves to come and stay and catch up with a dvd and popcorn, or a coffee. My relationship with my Mum hasnt been perfect, but we are close and I tell her what I think - I am always grateful for having her in my life. Now I hope you have that blanket finished!!Have a lovely weekend.
    Rebecca x

  9. I have tears! Yes a mother and daughter relationship is hard at times but so special. You must let us know what the Sibella court book is like! Every time I have seen the book in the shops it has been covered in plastic! I loved hearing Sibella's comments when she judged Home Made on channel 9 a while back. Such a stylish designer!
    X Briohny.

  10. Teary now. Beautiful.
    Biggest hugs to you for being so lovely. Really! I think you are lovely and truly so!

    xx C

  11. Lovely post Kerry, you really do write so well.... I never got the recipe on how to make girls so I can't comment too much other than to say I love my boys. I see also that you are persisting with the dish clothes? Soon you will have enough for all of your blog friends. ;-) Have a great weekend.

  12. Kerry, sounds like the perfect relationship! My boys always ask for a hint/list prior to my b/day, I don't think I've had a pressie from any of them that they chosen all themselves! I guess that's the difference between sons & daughters. Still I no complain, they are gorgeous & I'm very lucky.
    Millie ^_^

  13. Such a gorgeous post Kerry - what a lovely daughter you have and what good taste she has!! Love that teatowel and you are going to love flicking through Sibella's book. Enjoy!! P.S Thanks for your kind comment on Wednesday x

  14. Beautiful post. As soon as I saw the gift images, I thought what a thoughtful daughter... now I see how lovely she is and of course, you must be a special mum for her to be so.

  15. Awww, tears! That is so lovely, you are both so lucky to have each other :) And you're right, it is a complex relationship, albeit a very special one.

    Happy birthday, Kerry.

    Abby xx

  16. man, that's such a lovely post. i always wanted boys and managed to get two. now i'm a little jealous at not having htat mother/daughter thing.

    lovely pressies and what a gorgeous girl she is!!

    but darl, no waaaay does sibella knit dish cloths!!!!!

    have a great weekend xxx

  17. What a sweet and true description of mother-daughter relationships. Your daughter sounds like one in a million.

  18. Thank you so much for having me on your list ! I'm smiling now :)

    If I haven't said it earlier. Happy Birthday ! Your daughter seems to be so nice and you have now one of my favorite books (Etcetera). Much inspiration in that !!

    Have a really nice weekend


  19. what a beautiful post! I am lucky to be very close to my mum and my own daugther.
    your daugther has a wonderful taste so she is taking after her mum. hope you are having a great weekend xoxox

  20. This is a wonderful, thought- and soulful blog - thank you! Makes me (almost) feel that I missed something, because I have one (grown-up) son, but we still have a very close relationship - though he studies in a town in southern Germany and has a beautiful fiancé, and of course and happily a life of his own. Your daughter is beautiful - and I'm dreaming of Jeeves, too - I always admired Stephen Fry in that role when he ironed. Britta

  21. That is a favourite book of mine.... Gorgeous gift - you are lucky!!! Hope you are well x

  22. This was a beautiful and thoughtful post. I will take on board much of what you have said but I will especially remember to praise my daughter Maddy more often.

    Belated birthday wishes too!

    Best wishes for a fabulous week,

  23. Hi Kerry, I am so glad I have stumbled accross your beautiful blog, I bet you had a gorgeous time meeting Kerri from Driftwood, she seems to be such a beautiful lady. I do look so forward to following your blog, and I did love your most recent post, gorgeous.
    take care, hugs,
    Laura currie,


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