soul food friday: when even good change is a bit hard...

Many of you will know I’m a HR consultant.  Sometimes I advise clients about managing change. Hell, I even invented a change model based on whole brain thinking.  I know.... clever huh J *snort/guffaw*. So...bottom line is, I know the theory.

Last week, a major work change that’s been in the making for over six months finally came to fruition. We sold 80% of the business to (I’m very pleased to say)  an Australian publicly listed company. This means that 20% remains privately owned, but I’m no longer one of those owners. I'll have to resort to buying shares!

For the last ten years I’ve been a company director. I’ve been part owner of a business; involved in a whole pile of stuff that comes along with that. To be honest, some of it’s been a huge load and a heavy responsibility, but mostly it’s been an enormous privilege to be part of something that’s grown and succeeded and made a difference to a lot of people...and I really believe we have done that.

And while I was very happy to sell my shares (and no, I won't be rich!), last week I found myself experiencing a sense of loss.  And also being a bit bemused about how to go back to being an employee because I'm staying on with the company (actually, as a 'key person' I don't have a lot of choice about that for the next few years!). And while the changeover hasn't happened just yet, I'm slowly getting used to my place in the work world being different now.
During an email exchange with the first born on the day we announced the sale to staff, I wrote that I was a bit sad and feeling emotional. She said “that’s understandable – it’s your baby". True. [Well, it's one of them anyway...the others have caused a great deal more trouble!]

But she’s right. I do feel a bit like a mother who’s waved off her child as they leave home (been there, done that, found it hard...although when they've done it more than once it gets easier!). And like that person, I need to let go of the apron strings. Or to mix a metaphor or three...pass on the baton while untying the strings and looking to the future! It’s the right thing for me, and it’s the right thing for the company. It doesn’t mean I stop caring. It doesn’t mean I don’t want the best for it.  It just means I have a different role now, and I think it’s ok (probably even necessary) to do a bit of grieving for the old one. In fact, I don’t think I’d be me if I didn’t.

But it’s the silly, simple things that are doing my head in. I didn’t have to worry about moving out of my office. I did that ages ago, voluntarily (you can read my thoughts on that here, it's about being connected and it's still one of the best, simple things I've ever done).  But what on earth do I put on my business card now? Who’s going to sign all the things that I used to sign?  Who do I report to? And when do I surrender my corporate credit card L

The reality is that things will probably go on pretty much as they always have, at least for the foreseeable future. Day-to-day my core job doesn’t change, except I may very well get busier for a bit as we adjust to a new set of business requirements. I’ll still put in every bit of effort that’s needed. I’ll still celebrate all of our achievements, individual and collective.  I’ll just have a different role, add value in a different way, learn to accept that I won’t be introduced to people as a company director any more. Even though I've never really cared too much about status, even when I was in the Army, I think that might be one of the hardest things to get used to. Hey I'm human.
So...some adjustments to make, but none of them very agonising. And in time, a whole raft of new possibilities will emerge. I may not be sure about much, but I'm sure about that...whatever the 'that' may be! And if I'm a bit more flaky than usual for a while, I'm sure you'll understand; come to think of it that probably explains why I can't decide if I'm going through major, minor change, or minor, major change. 
I should probably see someone about that J


p.s. I do realise this is a completely self indulgent post. Normal nonsense will resume shortly J